Cowboy's Refuge Page 3

  A day to have fun. A chance for me to take a risk and an opportunity to experience romance even for a bit. I deserved it after a year of running like a fugitive. But, fear crept back to me. I might end up choosing to stay for another day and it could end everything I’d protected.

  "Look. I know you saw me last night," Austin admitted. My face reddened again. He flashed a meek smile and stated, "I'm not a pervert. I was just…"

  Austin paused and looked at me. Our eyes met and my entire body turned numb. His pleading eyes convinced my heart. To take that risk. To be with him.

  "I'd love that," I told him.

  "What I did?" Austin asked with a cheeky smile.

  "No!" I uttered aloud. I avoided his eyes and explained, "Your offer. I'd love to take a tour with you… I mean, of the ranch."

  Austin laughed. His laugh was deep. It was full of joy and it shook my heart. The sincerity in his laugh eased my doubts.

  Austin

  I brought Aileen to the top of the hill to see the whole view of the connecting ranches. Her mouth dropped in awe as she saw the difference in them. The two ranches were separated by a creek and they looked like two different worlds. The guest ranch was colorful and peaceful. Our private ranch was messy and wild.

  The summer wind blew on us. I closed my eyes and inhaled Aileen's scent. Her scent came from the complimentary soap in our guest ranch, but she made the combined smell of vanilla and Shea butter more addicting. I had to fight my urge not to press my nose on her neck and sniff all of it.

  It was not my only struggle. Aileen knew how to ride horses so she followed the movement of the horse. She moved back and forth as the horse galloped. Every time she moved back, her butt touched my bulge. Is she teasing me? I wondered. It was the reason I had to stop. A few more of her healthy behind bumping with my wild crotch and I thought I might ride her instead.

  "This is beautiful," Aileen uttered.

  Beautiful. That was what she was. Her brown eyes looked like amber as the high sun shone on her face. Her cheeks were rosy. She had great skin for an ordinary woman. She could pass as a model for facial products.

  "Is that area part of the guest ranch?" Aileen asked while pointing at my house.

  She turned to me and our face almost touched. Her eyes met mine. The tips of our noses almost kissed. She remained frozen in front of me. Her lips shivered, as if she was expecting a kiss, but refused to be kissed.

  I kept my eyes on her lips and answered, "No. But, it belongs to me."

  Aileen looked away, but she took a quick glance at me before keeping her eyes on the other ranch. The horse reared suddenly. I held onto the bridle to control the horse with my one hand and held Aileen with the other.

  "What's wrong, Shadow?" I asked the horse when it calmed. I looked at Aileen and asked, "Are you okay?"

  Aileen was pale, but her cheeks were red. She looked down at her chest. My eyes widened when I found my other hand around her breasts. I wrapped my arms around Aileen's breasts instead of her waist because of the suddenness. I could not be blamed. The young woman was a head and a half shorter than me. My aim missed.

  "I'm sorry," I uttered softly.

  Aileen frowned a little. She pulled my hand away from her chest. My hand had a mind of its own. It refused to let go even after I apologized.

  The world around us became silent. Even the horse remained calm. I bet Shadow knew my desperation to hold the young woman and it found a way.

  "I think the horse is tired. The two of us are too much for him," Aileen said to break the silence that now existed between us. She prepared to dismount as she added, "We both know I'm on the heavy side."

  I wrapped my other arm around her waist to stop her. She turned to me and the silence returned. We remained staring at each other's face. I looked at her body and back at her face. "You're not heavy. You're perfect for me," I said without a blink.

  She reddened and looked away. Her chest moved up and down as her breathing turned shallow. She glanced at me and quickly looked away. "We should go back now. I have to leave soon."

  "Do you really have to go today?" I asked while staring at her nape.

  Aileen fell silent for a while. I could tell that she did not want to leave, but her eyes were full of worries. The high school campers will return tomorrow. Why is she leaving before them?

  "I can't stay," Aileen said. Her frustration was obvious in her voice.

  "Is there someone you need to return to?" I asked.

  Please say no. I pleaded quietly. Aileen looked like she was in her early twenties. She could not be married at that young age. A painful sting struck my heart. She might not be married, but she might have someone waiting for her. The reason for her to go home.

  "I have work. Just work," she replied.

  A wide smile appeared across my face. She sounded worried that I would think differently about her reason.

  "Then, stay. At least, for lunch," I said while pointing at my house on the other ranch. "Rima prepared a shepherd's pie for lunch."

  "Rima?" she asked. Her eyes sparked with some jealousy.

  The spark made my heart jump and filled it with hope. I could feel her attraction towards me. Just a little push and I could convince her to stay. And, maybe, I could have her before the day ended.

  “She’s my housekeeper and my personal chef,” I answered. She gave me a suspecting look. I flashed a smile and told her, “She’s a sixty-year-old widow.”

  Her face lit up when she heard that. Her eyes twinkled and her lips curved into a wide smile as she replied with a nod.

  #

  “That was exhilarating!” Aileen declared as soon as we reached the bottom of the hill.

  My heart stopped for a moment when I saw the joy in her face. She was made for this ranch. She enjoyed the thrill of being a cowgirl – like she was born to be one. Her laugh was a genuine display of happiness. And, at that moment, I had decided. I will take any risk of falling in love just to make her mine. Just to make her stay so I could look at that happy face every day.

  Aileen turned to me with her smiling face. When she was about to look away, I caught her head and kept her looking at me. Her eyes widened and she forgot to breathe. Her eyes shifted to my lips. Somehow, she knew what I would do. I pulled her closer and pressed my lips to hers.

  She opened her mouth slightly and received my tongue. Her lips trembled as she kissed me back. I could tell it was not her first kiss, but her kisses were odd. Like she only pretended to be good at it. I pressed my thumb on her chin to open her mouth wider. She resisted it at first, but her lips relaxed when I continued to kiss her gently.

  I stuck my tongue into her mouth again, this time exploring it. Her eyes widened in shock, as if it was her first time to have a tongue stuck in her mouth this way. She panicked and tried to push my tongue out. Her reaction excited me and I pushed my tongue deeper into her.

  She panicked more and pushed me away. Our eyes met. Mine was full of wanting. Hers was full of confusion. She turned away from me and tried to dismount from the horse. I held her by the shoulder to calm her. She froze when I touched her. I dismounted from the horse and offered to assist her. She looked at me, wavered her eyes and dismounted on the other side.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve wanted to do that since last night,” I confessed.

  Aileen’s eyebrows curved in curiosity. Her doubts grew more when I could not answer. She was about to leave when Rima, my stout, Native American nanny, came out of the house.

  “I knew my shepherd’s pie would make you come home,” she said as she struggled to walk closer to us. She stopped and looked at Aileen. A teasing smile appeared across her face as she added, “And, you brought a girl. It’s about time.”

  Aileen became anxious as Rima walked towards her. The older woman cupped her face and looked at her features.

  “Finally. The rightful owner of the house had come,” Rima declared.

  “Huh?” Aileen uttered in shock. She looked at me, but I was as confused as she
was.

  The rightful owner. I’d had the house built after Gracie and I got engaged. Rima used to tell me that Gracie would never be the owner of the house and of my heart. But, the old widow always hated Gracie.

  Rima claimed she could tell who I was destined to be and who was destined to be the love of my life. I never believed her. My destiny and my heart are under my control. I will choose my destiny and I will choose who to love.

  I walked next to Aileen and whispered, “I’m sorry. I’ll explain all of it later. Just give me a chance.”

  The old widow suddenly hit me on my shoulders. She glared at me and said, “You still don’t know how to win a woman’s heart.”

  Aileen giggled at the old widow’s comment. I looked at her and she blushed. Yes. I will choose who to love. No. I had chosen who to love.

  Olivia

  The older woman held my hand. She was obviously excited to have me at the ranch. The rightful owner. What did she mean by that? How can I be the rightful owner when I need to leave soon?

  I looked at Austin. He handed his horse to someone and walked behind us. My heart beat fast as the memory of our kiss flashed back to me. It was the dream kiss I always imagined. My parents often rode on a horse together and they would kiss passionately before they’d dismount. The younger me wished for that moment, too. And, I had that moment with Austin.

  The kiss was my first real kiss. I wanted more of it, but at the same time, I did not want more of it. Crazy, huh? I was afraid to deepen our kiss as it could make me fall deeper for him. Austin was a good man. His smile and his eyes proved it. He had a peaceful life and a beautiful ranch that could be his paradise forever.

  I should not be entangled with him. My life was a mess. It would be unfair to get him mixed up with my mess. I wanted to keep the hope and pursue what I felt for him after all my troubles were gone. But, my troubles would never be gone. I can never love him knowing that I would have to leave everything again.

  Just give me a chance. Austin requested it. I took a deep breath. He had asked for a chance, but I could only give him one morning.

  “You’ll love the…” Rima’s voice trailed off when a young man walked out of the kitchen. He held the whole shepherd’s pie in his hand. The old woman glared at him and took the pie. “I told you this is for your uncle. Now, how can I serve this to his guest?”|

  “A guest?” the teenager asked. He looked at curiously.

  “Hi. I’m Aileen. I’m with the high school campers,” I introduced myself before he could try to remember who I was. He could remember me as Olivia Dylan or Aileen Moore. Either way, it would be bad for me.

  “Are you sure we haven’t met?” the young man asked. “I think I saw you before those kids arrived in the camp.”

  I was about to answer when Austin appeared beside me. He grabbed his nephew and pushed him to the couch. He glared at him and warned, “Behave.”

  The kid laughed. He looked at me and back to Austin. He took a few steps away before saying, “Looks like I won’t be the only one in this family having sex now. Heeha!”

  Austin reddened with embarrassment. He grabbed a horse magazine from the coffee table. The kid ran away before he could hit him. Austin looked at me. I bit my lower lip to refrain from laughing. The kid’s comment embarrassed me, too, but the cuteness of the flustered muscular cowboy was enough to make me recover.

  My heart began to dance, the rhythm became crazy and it messed with my mind. A desire to stay at this ranch grew inside me. I wanted to have the casual life of having a family. My life used to be like this despite my status as an actress. I had a family – a brother to tease and who would be there for me. Now, my life was not even my own.

  Austin worried when tears began to form in my eyes. He walked closer to me and wiped the tears before they could fall. He looked so beautiful. I came from a world of acting – where most men would look at me pretending to be in love with me. Austin’s stare was genuine and he looked more beautiful than anyone. I wanted to just stay in that moment and be trapped in that stare forever. My heart wanted to take refuge in this ranch. To take refuge in this cowboy’s arms. Can I? If only there was a reason I could stay.

  “I’ll prepare your lunch on the veranda of your room,” Rima told Austin when we remained looking at each other. She winked at the cowboy and said, “I’ll prepare the magic blanket, too.”

  Austin looked shocked when he heard Rima. He wanted to stop the nanny, but she left with excitement. He looked at me and awkwardness filled the room. He smiled softly and said, “I’ll go tell her to…”

  “It’s okay,” I cut in. “I will leave after eating”.

  It was a half-truth. I did want to have some pie. My stomach had been growling and the aroma of the pie was making me crazy. Perhaps, it was because of that hunger that I got a little braver – riskier. I wanted to take the moment as far as it could go. Even if it would be as far as losing my innocence.

  #

  My eyes were filled with longing as I saw the mountains bordering Montana and Alberta. I was so close to home. I looked around Austin’s private ranch. Both the guest ranch and this ranch were beautiful. They looked like paradise. They felt like home. I looked at Austin and he just stared at me with his adoring eyes and smile.

  Calgary was the home I grow up in, but staying in Montana would not be that bad. Just a six-hour drive and I could be at my brother’s ranch. I looked at Austin again. If only… we had met at a different time and a different situation. I would not mind leaving my life as an actress to have a life like this. A life with a green-eyed cowboy, who had filled my dreams for a long time and who became a reality for one day.

  “What are you thinking?” Austin asked. He flashed a boyish grin and added, “I hope it is about staying for a few more days.”

  I giggled at his last statement, but my heart ached knowing that it was impossible. Starting another life in another city or state required many things. Having a dilly-dally romance was not one of them. I had to be nonexistent to everyone. A soft smile formed on my lips. Until Marcus is jailed and I recover my true identity as Olivia Dylan, I cannot have any romance.

  Enjoy this short moment. I told myself. It could be the only taste of romance I could ever have.

  “You said you had something to explain,” I said, flirting while taking the last bite of my pie.

  Austin almost choked on his pie. I handed him a glass of water and he drank it in a hurry. He turned to me and became silent. I raised an eyebrow at him and reminded him of his promise. My heart throbbed hard when he suddenly blushed. What was his secret? What did I do last night that he wanted to kiss me that much?

  I gulped when the scene on the porch of the cabin in the guest ranch came back to me. A mixture of fear and thrill grew inside me. Did he want to kiss me that much after he reached his climax from that hand job? Or… was he that desperate to have sex with anyone? Even his nephew was excited with the thought of him having sex.

  My reluctance crept back. His genuine concerns and sincere looks could be an act. He just wanted me to pleasure him, not because he liked me. I wanted to go as far as losing my innocence, but my first time should have at least a bit of romance, even if it was a whirlwind one or an unsure one. It shouldn’t be just because a man wanted to satisfy his urge.

  I stood from my seat and declared, “I’m sorry. I have to leave now. It’s getting late.”

  “Suddenly?” Austin said as he became confused with my abrupt declaration. He stood and stated, “I have not explained yet.”

  “I don’t need an explanation anymore. I have to go,” I insisted.

  Austin grabbed my hand before I could leave the table. He held it tight while his other hand cupped my nape. He pulled my hair lightly to make me look at him. His warm breath brushed against my face and it sent shivers down my spine. Strange energy traveled to the nerves of my breasts and my crotch. I slowly became desperate for his kiss and for his touch.

  He leaned closer to my face. His lips were about to
touch mine and his eyes remained on mine. He smiled a little and said, “I saw you in the creek last night. You were so beautiful. The entire experience was enchanting.”

  My eyes widened at his confession. H-he saw me? I looked down at my chest. He saw everything? I bared to a cowboy – unknowingly?

  I wanted to slap him for watching me swim, but I could not. My mind was in panic and in excitement. Half of me was happy that he was the one who saw me. He was the only one who had seen all of me. But, I also panicked. What if he brought me here just to have me? Just because he wanted to force me?

  “Let go of me,” I said in a shaky voice. “I have to go.”

  “I want you. I need you,” he responded. He tightened his grip on my hand and nape as he added, “Give me a chance.”

  He slid his lips against my lips before I could answer. His kiss was more passionate, as if convincing me to give him that chance. I was hesitant, but my lips were not. They replied to his every kiss. When he pushed his tongue into my mouth, I pushed it back. We fenced with each other’s tongue, until I gave up and let him take control.

  The grasp of his hand on my nape weakened. His fingers strummed my vertebrae as we continued to kiss. He let go of my other hand and cupped my breasts. I gasped into his mouth, but he did not let me pull away. His kisses intoxicated me and persuaded me to let him have his way with my body.

  He lifted me from the floor and carried me to the bed. My breathing became fast and shallow. My mind was confused and my heart was scared. The rest of my body was thrilled. As his lips pressed on my neck, my body rejoiced and wanted more. A moan left my mouth when his calloused hands slid under my bra.

  I’m ready, I told myself. There was no turning back. I would leave this ranch deflowered by the man of my dreams. A dream. This moment would only be a dream for me again. I would never forget it, but would never have it again. Austin. This ranch. This morning. They will all become just a dream, but I hoped they could become my fate.